endgames | 024 -- [Action]

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024 -- [Action]

[It is on the fourth day of the experiment that Shikamaru leaves his apartment. Free of those stupid thought bubbles, this should've been a good thing. But as he walked, it felt like he was being drawn to something. A weird breeze picked up. The sky literally became overcast. Ominous shit, man. 8|

It's only when he walked past a tree that he saw it. His old foe thought long gone when he defenestrated it months ago.]

Oh, not this again-

-

May 27 - June 1

[For these four days of the experiment, around the village there is a ~~toaster~~ ~magic lamp~ waiting to be found. In that tree! On that bench! On top of that fountain! How did it get in all these weird places? NO IDEA. But pick it up, and BAM. SMOKE ~~PELLETS~~, and you suddenly have your very own genie (barefoot, with an outfit something like this). Careful what you wish for.]

Can we make this quick?

[[ ooc: So Shikamaru's fairy-taled into a genie again! You get three (3) wishes, and he will be 'granting' them as literally as possible.

As per the guidelines of the old fairy-tale event: nothing wished for is actually real. It will look like it is! But your character is either interacting with something imaginary or a mundane object: like thinking they picked up a magic lamp when it's really a toaster. Wish to be a sorcerer? While effected it's like COOL YOU HAVE MAGIC POWERS. Only not really, you were just pointing at things.

TL;DR: it's one giant game of pretend. Have fun. 8|b ]]

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[He smiles. This master is a clever one. Between the genie role he's stuck in (which is also annoyed some by it) and his core personality, he feels suitably entertained.]

Lemma have the abridged version.

Oh, it'll be abridge - it's called A Thousand and One Nights for a reason, you know.

[Actually, he doesn't know.]

They were a string of stories spun to keep a woman alive.

[This look. Figures it would be a woman. Also how does that even work.]

Long ago, in a made up land, the sultan ruled supreme over all the land. By all accounts he was rich, successful, and a decent enough ruler. But one day he caught his beautiful, loving wife in the arms of the captain of his guard. He was justifiably pissed, and had them both killed.

[She paused to open up the door to the supermarket for him. In you go, genie.]

That's about when he stopped being justified.

What's a story without an asshole, right?

[He pauses before going through the door, his chivalry arguing that as a man, he should be holding the door.

The genie wins out this time, both in that Molly is his master without argument, and in him not hating this treatment. He nods and walks in.]

Mmm. [Non-committal comment. SHE DOESN'T TRUST YOUR QUESTIONS, but she shuts the door and starts heading to the section where they have the pre-wrapped sandwiches.]

So this guy gets it in his head that all women are evil and not to be trusted - they should all be punished. You'd think he'd just be single and bitter and start pruning bonsai or something, but no, he's still a man, and he's got needs, and since he's the king of course his needs come before anyone else's. Now, you'd think that he'd just start a harem or something, but no, that's not good enough for him. He's the king. He doesn't want to have to trust anyone ever again, and why should he have to act dishonorably when it's women who are the lowlifes? So he makes a decree that he will wed a virgin in the morning, spend the night with her, chop off her head the next morning, then marry another virgin.

[This would be a kingdom in which Molly would find it prudent to get rid of that pesky virginity ASAP.]

Edited (going with my original thought instead >>) 2012-06-05 17:10 (UTC)

[Misogynistic as he can be sometimes, let it never be said Shikamaru has it in him to hate women. Even as a kid, he had a firm idea of how they should be treated: with respect and compassion. They are to be protected.

So yes, he is frowning as he looks over the different types of sandwiches here.]

So this goes on for a long time - some stories say one thousand days, but that's probably hyperbole. And finally, the guy carrying out the sultan's orders, the Grand Vizer is getting nervous. Because it doesn't look like the sultan is snapping out of it, he just gets more angry and bitter each time, and the kingdom is running out of beautiful virgins. In fact, he's getting down to the wire, and soon all he'll have left are his own two beautiful daughters, Scheherazade and the younger sister whose name started with a "D."

And he's weeping into his hands at dinner, pouring out his heart to his daughters, because how can he sacrifice them to the sultan's appetite for revenge, when Scheherazade volunteers to go to the king.

[Oh they have turkey. This'll do.]

[Bleck, he could have at least gotten a whole wheat roll, but... meh. She barely knows the guy. She starts leading him up the drink aisle.]

Her father thinks this is a terrible idea, but she reassures him and persuades him, and because she's so beautiful smart and talented she gets her wish and is married to the sultan. After they spend the night together, she begs him to let her say goodbye to her kid sister. The sultan's taken by her beauty and charm, and all the more disgusted and angry with her for it, but she's his Grand Vizer's daughter, he can at least let her say goodbye to her sister, right? So he summons "D" into the royal bedchamber and the sisters embrace, and "D" is like, "Oh, Scheherazade, won't you tell me just one more story? It would be such a comfort to me..."

So Scheherazade turns to get the sultan's permission by bowing low on the ground, and the guy's ego is gratified that she knows her rightful place, and so gives her permission to tell the tale. And so Scheherazade starts spinning this wonderful story about magic and honor and power and greed, and just as she gets to the best part? Dawn. Time for her beheading! She stops talking right in the middle.

[Shikamaru is nearly smiling when Molly reaches the part in her tale where the sister is invited in, because he can see where this is going.

He doesn't respond until Molly get further however, and speaks only plainly.]

Smart girl. So he lets her live another day.

Edited 2012-06-06 04:13 (UTC)

Exactly. And the next night, the same thing happens. 1000 nights and three kids later, Scheherazade finally runs out of stories. But the sultan is like - okay, you've proven your heart and your faithfulness, and by the way, I love you, so you can live and be my queen.

[She pauses in the drink aisle. Knock yourself out, genie.]

[He grabs the first thing without looking or prejudice - bottle of apple juice.]

Happier for her than for him, honestly.

[Though it's an interesting though. What does and doesn't make a man redeemable.]

Understandable.

[She grabbed hold of an organic cranberry juice for herself.]

So your story? Right out of one of her tales.

Gathered that. Figured it would be too much to hope the genie'd get to kick the sultan's ass.

Not that sultan's, anyway.

Oh? Ass-kicking inception. Not bad.

[Note: he is in fact a blend of several story's genies. This leads him to make pop culture references he doesn't at all get. 8|]

[...]

Yeah. Something like that.

[Aaaand they don't have to pay for this, so there's really no issue of him eating here, is there?

He wastes no time, though he leaves one half of the sandwich in it's wrapper. No telling if any future masters will offer food.]

[...having dealt with her fair share of street kids and those who weren't sure where their next meal was coming from, Molly recognizing hoarding when she sees it. Still. Since she hasn't decided to let him go yet...]

You all set?

Yeah.

[Oh. Manners kicking in. He gives a short bow of his head.]

Thank you for the food.

[So okay. We doing this wishing thing or what? 8|]

You're welcome.

[She shrugged and gestured around.]

You want to help yourself to anything else?

[...he misses ninja pockets, man.

He grabs another drink, and some snacks. He's not picky with these either, just going with whatever's easy to carry and closest - though he makes an exception for BBQ potato chips. It takes less than a minute.]

This is fine.

[...that is so unhealthy.

Well, Molly wrinkles her nose at his choice and starts her way out of the store.

She's got... the beginnings of a plan, but she doesn't really want it to take place so publicly.]

[She's dragging this out, he can tell, reminiscent of the woman in her story.

But still delaying. Unlike Tony, she's hiding it with niceties too. Grateful as he is for the kindness, it bothers him.]

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