[He takes a swig from his cup and sets it down on the nearest flat surface. It's not yet half-empty.]

I seeee. [Elongated 'e'. He's talking faster now, slurs a little more pronounced.] Then we need a joke. Law! Do you know any jokes?? We're gonna need good ones... If his face's stuck like that, think what the part of throat that can make sounds like that is like now.

[He bends his fingers, like a swinging door.]

Creaky.