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025 -- [Action || Voice]
[When Shikamaru heads down to Asuma's apartment Monday morning, he finds it empty of everything but Kurenai's things and a silver lighter standing on the table. It's wrong, but he doesn't give in to the false hope.
Of course it would stay. Even though Shikamaru gave it back to him, the lighter stopped being Asuma's the moment he picked it off his dying body.
Kurenai must've stepped out before it happened. She's a ninja, and not so senseless to have left the door wide open and run off in her grief. And so he waits for her, and tries to find his words.
After he leaves Kurenai, he has to tell Ino. Team 8 he'll find in person too - he has a request for them on top of this. It's been too long since they've heard a stir from their enemies.]
[It's well past midnight before an announcement comes, after he's made this post and spent a few hours going over the discussions there. When people are either busy with the information he gave them, or asleep.
He smokes a cigarette on his way back to his apartment in the night air, putting it out before he steps into the building, his posture falsely relaxed until he steps into his own room.]
Sarutobi Asuma is gone. [There's a pause and- no, he doesn't think it was mentioned.] Also, Haruno Sakura returned to her world a few weeks ago, for anyone who knew her.
Funnily enough, I haven't seen that masked Akatsuki guy in a while either...
[Too many people to filter that too. It's vague enough, but anyone who needs to know should get what he means. It would have been better news if he'd known before.
He'll answer journal comments in the morning.]
Voice. /FALLS, MOURNFUL WAILS ENSUE
Also, hello, this is a U-Turn. Don't bring up his brother, asshole, you don't deserve to say his name or even hint at it. ]
Did it hurt when Sarutobi left?
Voice.
Well screw you, Sasuke. He's had years to pretend he doesn't care.]
It's funny how you avoid him when before you would never stop looking for him. [He even chuckles at it.] To be honest, I don't really care. But if it matters to you at all, you should talk to him.
Voice, private.
But then he stops himself.
There's something wrong with this. Something beneath it. Once he realizes that, it takes Sasuke a good long while to respond. Upwards of thirty minutes, even. ] Is that something you're interested in?
Voice, private.
I said I didn't care. What you do, anyways.
But to cut the bullshit, I know your silent treatment causes him grief. Someone had to make you aware of it.
Voice, private. Look at how Sasuke makes a post about Asuma being gone about him.
Aside from Itachi's past actions, Sasuke didn't know his brother at all. He's had so many reactions to and interactions with Itachi over the course of his life: he's idolized Itachi, loathed Itachi, killed Itachi, come to terms with Itachi's actions, mourned for Itachi, demanded answers from Itachi, was denied answers by Itachi, received answers from Itachi, killed Itachi again (and an innocent person trying to protect Itachi), and, if that wasn't enough, went back to his world only to want to ask those same questions all over again.
And most of that happened in the past two or three years. That second Itachi had been particularly confusing, to the point where he ended up believing that he still hated Itachi. Thinking on it now, it seemed like that was because for most of that time Itachi was right in front of him, within reach while his real adversary was not. That's primarily what he's been using this time to dwell on, all the while wondering if it'd happen again. Wondering if he got too close to this Itachi he'd just kill his brother rather than be near him. After thinking it through over and over again he's come to realize that what he felt back then—the real reason he was frustrated—wasn't because he hated Itachi.
It was because he hated something else. Something bigger—what he hated was being near Itachi and knowing that every second he spent getting to know his brother was a second Konoha stole from him. Itachi was dead; his clan was dead; and the only people he had bonds with he severed ties with to kill someone he cared for more than his own life. Nothing anyone could say could set that right or fix it. And he wasn't looking to atone for his part in those things; he'd long since come to terms with what he'd done (as well as what he planned to do to Konoha). What he did to Itachi that first time came from his own weakness and his own shortcomings.
It was the second time that was skewing his perspective, as well as the feeling that that death was never fully resolved.
... he really shouldn't be dwelling on this while speaking with Shikamaru of all people though. ] Someone asked you to tell me this. Who was it?
[ don't say itachi ok ]
Voice, private. Sasuke, you attention whore. Just admit you miss your fangirls.
To what purpose? I'd sooner see you shoot the messenger than obsess over a second person.
[Sigh.] You may have severed your bonds, but Itachi is finding new ones here. Don't read too much into it, because it's as simple as that.
[The mess between these two brothers is not a place he wants to sit himself in. Even with the insight that other Sasuke who was here once gave him, their relationship makes so little sense to him.
The one thing that remains solid is Itachi is the focal point of everything. Just talking about him is dangerous, but understanding how much of a threat Sasuke is to them necessitates understanding that relationship too.]
Voice, private. Only late at night when he's all alone with Madara.
[ That's a bit of a touchy subject itself. Itachi's the one who told him to sever his bonds. Why is Itachi going around making new ones? And with Konoha ninjas at that.
Sasuke wants to tell Shikamaru to leave Itachi alone, say that Konoha's done enough to him, but he doesn't. Or won't. No matter his feelings about Konoha ninjas getting close to Itachi, Itachi is loyal to Konoha. Of course he'll want to speak with them. ...
...
... ] ... What do you think of him?
Voice, private. ...can't be as bad as the days with Orochimaru
At the same time, he suspects Sasuke already knows that's he's more keen on it then he lets on in public.]
I think I misjudged him.
Voice, private. those were some bad nights, bro. let's not talk about it!!
Voice, private.
And I also think the only person I've met who's braver is Naruto.
Voice, private.
But if you think Itachi is brave, there must be a reason for it. What happened to his brand as a criminal?
Voice, private.
Voice, private.
Voice, private.
[Because while Itachi has proven himself time and again, especially working with them when Tobi arrived, it pays to be cautious.]
But that is second to his decision, and I will respect that.
Voice, private.
wow why would itachi's opinion about anything matter??Well, whatever, Shikamaru, if answering like this floats your boat, go for it. ] I didn't ask for his opinion either, and I don't need to be told what he wants.[ Long pause. ] Talk to Itachi. Do you have anything else to say?
Voice, private.
[He sighs. It's sort of your fault he knows any of this. Sometimes he wishes he hadn't found out.
But that's the part of me that is a coward.]
But that's it. I'm done. Talking to you makes me tired.
Voice, private.